Embracing Progress Over Perfection: A Practical Guide

In a world that demands perfection - in how we look, behave, provide for our families and perform at work, it's high time to shift focus. Enter, the year of "Progress over Perfection!" 🤩

In studying human behaviour, especially that of individuals who have moved abroad, over the past 8 months, it's been an eye-opener to learn how perfectionism can be such a driving force and paralysing factor, for so many of us. I've struggled with this since childhood and am just now, in my early 40's, learning to shed the burden of striving to make everything perfect before taking my next step. The perfection trap stifles our creativity and personal growth. Let's explore a little more. 🔭

Understanding the Roots of Perfectionism 👌

Perfectionist tendencies usually start in childhood. According to Dr. Thomas S. Greenspon, a psychologist and author of "Breaking Free from the Trap of Perfectionism," it isn't about high standards, but about unrealistic ones. It's a coping mechanism that often stems from a fear of making mistakes and a desire to gain approval.

Think back to your own early years - does this conjure memories of striving for good grades, or for praise from family, teachers or someone important in your life? 💭

The Cost of Perfectionism 💸

Striving for perfection can lead to significant costs. A study by Dr. Gordon L. Flett and Dr. Paul L. Hewitt, published in the American Psychological Association, links perfectionism to a range of psychological issues, including anxiety and depression. And those extra enhancements really cost us, in time, stress, and potentially lost income.🤦🏽‍♀️

Making Progress: Practical Tips 👣

1. Set Small, Realistic Goals ⭐

Start by setting micro-goals. Instead of aiming to have a perfectly organised home, aim to declutter just one area a week. Or, break down your project or to-do list, pick one thing to start with, and do that. Physically tick it off your list, and then work towards the next task. ✅ This reduces overwhelm and makes the task more manageable.

2. Embrace Your Mistakes ❌

Accept that making mistakes is a part of life and learning - just like you would expect from anyone else growing through life! A typo in a document isn't the end of the world; it makes you human.👩

Research by Dr. Carol Dweck on the growth mindset highlights the importance of embracing challenges and persisting in the face of setbacks. If we see it as a mini win every time we try something and it doesn't go exactly to plan, it sets us up to do better the next time.

3. Show Yourself Compassion 🫶

Dr. Kristin Neff, a self-compassion researcher, suggests that being kind to oneself is crucial in overcoming perfectionism. So when you make a mistake, instead of self-criticism, practice self-compassion. I like to think about how I would speak to my son, or a friend, and practice the same language in my self-talk. 💛

4. Prioritise - Take One Thing At a Time 📋

Learn to prioritise. For me, lists are gold! I write down what I want to achieve that week, and each day select my top priority action items. Breaking perfectionism means realising that not everything requires a 100% effort. Ask yourself, "Is good enough actually enough?" And then move onto the next task! 👏🏼

5. Celebrate The Small Stuff 🎈

Acknowledge and celebrate your mini wins as you make progress.🎉 Having smaller milestones within a project or task makes it more manageable and proves to ourselves that we are in deed making progress. That provides internal motivation to keep going.

6. Be Mindful 💁‍♀️

Practices that help you to become present, like meditation, yoga and stretching, or journaling, can help you to stay grounded and focused on where you are right now, slowing down the busy mind and reminding you that perfection is really not necessary (unless you're a brain surgeon!). 

Letting go of perfection and embracing progress is a journey. It's about recognising that life is a continuous process of learning, growing, and evolving. Remember, in the words of Anne Wilson Schaef, "Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order."

On that note, have a beautiful day, and embrace your perfectly imperfect ways - they're yours! 💖

Warmest wishes,
Kristin xo