Your Best Friend: The Power of Self Talk
Notice that little voice in your head that comments on everything you do—is it cheering you on, or criticising your every move? It's a simple truth that many of us overlook: you can be your own best friend and cheerleader, or your own worst enemy. The choice is yours! 🤷🏻♀️
The Voice That Shapes Your Reality 🤔
Throughout your day, you're having a non-stop conversation with yourself. When you make a small mistake, what's your immediate reaction? Is it "I’m so stupid," or "That didn't go as planned. What can I learn from this?"
This internal dialogue might not seem important in the moment, but over time it shapes how you see yourself, how much you're willing to risk, and ultimately, what you believe is possible for your life.
Real-Life: When Self-Talk Makes The Difference 💯
Last week, I forgot a key section in a presentation. My first thought: “They’ll think I’m unprofessional.” Panic set in and I started doubting myself. Then I paused, noticed what was going on and shifted focus: “I’ve done this before. It’s going to be fine.” And it was.
Noticing the Pattern 💭
For just one day, try to catch yourself in the act. Notice the tone and content of your self-talk:
When you look in the mirror, what thoughts arise?
When you're faced with a challenge, what does your inner voice say about your chances of success?
When something goes wrong, who does your inner voice blame?
Many of us would never dream of speaking to a friend the way we routinely speak to ourselves. We offer compassion, patience, and encouragement to others while denying ourselves the same kindness.
The Impact 🙃
Your self-talk isn't just noise in your head—it translates directly into your actions and decisions. Your energy really does speak!
✳️ So understand that when you constantly tell yourself you're not good enough, you'll find yourself:
Avoiding opportunities that might lead to growth
Settling for less than you actually deserve
Giving up when inevitable challenges arise
Feeling exhausted from the constant battle with yourself
✳️ On the flip side, when you become your own cheerleader, you: 🎉
Approach challenges with healthy curiosity rather than fear
Bounce back more quickly from setbacks
Take healthy risks that lead to your growth
Enjoy a sense of peace and energy that comes from being on your own side
A Simple, Powerful Action Plan 📋✨
Here's something you can start doing today—right after you finish reading this article:
Create a Self-Talk Log: Use your phone's notes app or a small notebook you carry with you. Every time you notice self-critical talk, write it down word for word. Don't judge it, just notice it.
Write the Flip Side: Immediately after logging the negative self-talk, write the supportive alternative. What would you say to a friend in the same situation?
Review Patterns: At the end of each week, look through your log. Do certain situations trigger harsh self-talk? Are there specific themes coming through?
Celebrate Shifts: Note even the smallest moments when you caught yourself and shifted to supportive self-talk before writing it down. These are huge wins!
One of my clients discovered that her self-talk was particularly harsh around boundary setting. Every time she said yes to something that was not aligned with her vision, her self-talk became brutal. By logging those moments and flipping them, she became gentler to herself and started setting boundaries that honoured her time and energy. 👑
The Friendship That Changes Everything 🫶
The relationship you have with yourself affects every relationship and area of your life.
It’s not about pretending everything is perfect, but thinking with a balanced perspective which gradually shifts your life from the inside out.
✳️ So listen closely to how you speak to yourself today, and take the first step to empowered self-talk: notice, write it down, and create the alternative.
